Four days. That’s all that remains before Undead Chaos is released from its cage and allowed to roam free through the digital bookshelves. To help promote this terrifying glorious occasion, I’m continuing to interview cast members from the book. Therefore, please help me welcome the King of Clairvoyance, the Prince of Perception, the Orator of Oracles: Forlorn Jones!
Good morning, Mr. Jones. Or do you prefer Forlorn?
*silence*
Maybe ‘The Oracle’?
*more silence*
You know what? Let’s just go with ‘Jones’. That work for you?
*burps*
Sweet mercy, you smell like a distillery. Are you drunk?
*half grin*
Unreal. Hang on folks. (Maggie! I need a pot of coffee in here, ASAP! The strongest brew you can find!) Okay, we’re going to take a quick break.
*20 minutes of Bossa Nova hits*
Aaaaaand we’re back. Once again, my guest today is none other than the great Oracle himself, Forlorn Jones! Thanks for joining us today.
Hey.
That coffee helping?
*glances at steaming mug* It could use some whiskey.
Yeah, that’s not gonna happen. Can we talk about your character instead?
I guess.
Hot diggity. Rumor has it you can see the future. That you know things before they happen. How much of that is true and how much is just urban legend?
Oh, I’ve seen things.
Like the winning Powerball numbers?
No.
Then what kind of things?
Terrible things.
*stares into space*
Well, that’s dark and ambiguous.
*blinks*
And how do these visions come to you? In a dream or do they just randomly knock on the front door of your brain?
They come to me at all hours. Booze helps to silence the noise. By the way, you should answer that.
That certainly explains the–Wait, answer what?
*phone rings*
*silences phone and glances at a frowning Maggie with her phone to her ear* Well, that’s creepy.
Your producer isn’t happy with this interview.
Golly, I can’t understand why.
It’s because–
Let’s move on. Tell me about your home. You live in the Underground, yes?
Yes.
Seriously, this is like pulling teeth.
What is?
Never mind. So, can you give our readers a snapshot of the Underground?
Sure. It’s the region between the mortal and paranormal worlds that’s basically off the radar of human senses. Paranormal creatures have used it for centuries as a safe-haven during times of persecution. Ever since the Reformation, however, it’s transitioned from a nasty, dirty series of hidden back-alleys full of ruffians to a nast, dirty series of hidden back-alleys full of capitalistic ruffians. Paranormals, and a handful of humans, have turned it into a hive of commerce. There’s a surprising amount of tourism, but the locals keep to themselves. That’s the best thing about the Underground: the anonymity. There’s an unwritten rule that no one asks questions.
That was…surprisingly succinct.
I guess the coffee is finally working.
You mentioned that humans live there. How is that possible if the Underground is, as you put it, “off the radar of human senses”?
Normals can’t find the entrances, but the Skilled can. That said, most respectable Skilled avoid it. The humans who live there are the Fallen.
Who?
Skilled folks that failed out of Council training, are criminals on the lam, or are simply people who couldn’t adjust to the post-Reformation society. You see less Fallen fleeing to the Underground these days, but there will always be a steady stream of Mages, Warlocks, Wizards, Healers, etc.
So how’d you wind up in the Underground?
A lot of creatures, human or otherwise, would love to use my powers for their own means. The Underground is an ideal hiding place.
Yet you agreed to come on this blog.
Marcus said it was safe, seeing as you’re the author of the book and all.
He did, did he?
Yes.
I’ll have to remember to thank him.
They’re gender-based.
What?
Oh, sorry. You hadn’t asked the question yet.
Which–
About the different classifications for the Skilled. They’re based on gender. But you’re going ask that of Marcus, so I’ll let him give you the details.
I’m really confused at the moment.
Most people are when they talk with me. Sometimes it’s hard to stay in the present.
Must be harder to make friends.
It used to be, but between Marcus, Steve, and Quinn, I have way more than ever before. Then there’s Elyannna.
*wistful smile*
Who?
Long story. Your producer wants you to wrap things up.
*glances at Maggie who nods violently* Uh, thank you, Forlorn Jones, for joining us today and for bumping our Weirdness Factor up a few notches.
It’s what I do.
Well, you succeeded. And for the tens of you readers out there, tune in tomorrow when I interview famed Necromancer and Quinn’s father, Simeon Fawkes!
And remember, folks, Undead Chaos can be pre-orded from the online retailers below or your favorite e-book distributor. Order now and it’ll show up on your e-reader on October 28th. Just like magic!
Okay, so seriously, what are the Powerball numbers?
I don’t know.
Come on. You can see the future and stuff.
That’s not how it works.
Listen, I’m not exactly rolling around naked on hundred dollar bills here. Just help me out a little and I’ll cut you in on a percentage of the winnings.
Fine.
Really?
No.
Crud.
You know, you could write more books.
Well now I’ll HAVE to, thank you very much.
You’re welcome.
That’s not…never mind. Maggie! Is his ride here yet?