With the release of Undead Chaos just around the corner, we’re coming into the home stretch for these character interviews. Which is why I am doubly excited for today’s guest. A creature of mythological proportions (literally), the Master of Mazes and Lord of the Labyrinth, Steve!
Good morning and welcome to the blog.
Morn–Whoa, this places has an aroma!
Yeah, we haven’t been able to get rid of the zombie stink.
No, no, I meant the stench of humans. It’s overpowering.
But I showered and put on deodorant. *sniffs armpits*
And doused yourself with aftershave. Seriously, Aramis? What is this, 1948?
It’s a manly scent.
Yeah, if you’re a grandpa. Anywho, what’s shakin’, Radioland? Big Daddy Steve is on the airwaves ready to chat it up. Especially if you’re a lovely lady. So, who’s our first caller?
Um, this is a blog. We don’t have callers, we have readers.
We’re not live?
No. I’ll transcribe this and post it on my website.
Well, that sucks. I was looking forward to dealing with some crazy radio fans a la Fraiser.
Sorry to disappoint you.
You aren’t the first human to do so and certainly won’t be the last.
Good to know. So, getting to our interview. What’s up with the Labyrinth?
The movie? I love it.
No no. I mean the one from Greek mythology.
Oh that. No clue.
But you’re a Minotaur. You guard the Labyrinth.
One of my ancestors did that ONE time. Sheesh!
Oh. I guess I’m…uh…our readers are ignorant about real-life Minotaurs. Care to tell them a little bit about yourself?
Sure thing. So, the name’s Steve. I like good beer, hot women, and kittens.
And?
And what? You asked me to say a little bit about myself. I just did.
I didn’t mean literally.
Then you should have asked me to expound.
*sigh* Would you please expound on yourself?
See? How hard was that?
Very.
Wimp. Anyway, I had a typical childhood. Grew up in a Minotaur clan fighting for survival, left when I could, and found my way to the Underground. I spent a few lean years scraping up enough coin so I could open the Golden Teacup.
Sounds like you’re quite the success story. From rags to riches, eh?
Ha! More like rags to less-filthy rags. My bar was a dump that catered to the detritus of the Underground. But it was my home and I loved it.
Was?
Marcus torched it.
He what?
Burned it to the ground. Normally I’d kill a guy for something like that, but he also saved my life, so I owed him one. I’ve had his back ever since. He calls on me when he needs an enforcer, I call on him when I need someone to calm down the crowds of torch-wielding humans.
Sounds like you two are pretty good friends.
We don’t sing Barbershop together or have deep, soul-searching conversations over candlelight. We’re just, you know, friends. The drink beer and talk about girls kind.
And his girl is Quinn?
His girl is his business.
Fair enough. How about your girl?
What day is it?
Saturday.
Then it’s Maggie.
Hey, that’s my producer’s name.
No kidding? Well, lucky me.
*grins at the booth*
*Maggie smiles back*
Oooookay, let’s move on to something less awkward. I’m curious what you meant when you said ‘torch-wielding humans’?
There’s a great deal of prejudice against my kind from your kind.
That’s surprising. One of my previous guests said that Normal society was pretending to turn a blind eye to the paranormal world for several decades before formally accepting everyone with a peace treaty.
The Reformation unified the Skilled and Normals, but you can’t build trust with a piece of paper. And as for the paranormals, sure, we were roped into that treaty, but it’s easier to forgive someone who looks like you than someone who doesn’t. As accepting as some of society is, the majority of humans still views us as the things that go bump in the night. Long story short, your species sucks.
Is that why you chose to live in the Underground?
That, and the downtrodden love to drop coin on booze. Forlorn Jones was one of my best patrons till Marcus sobered him up.
He didn’t smell like it the other day.
Jones isn’t perfect, but trust me, the dude drinks waaaaaay less after our adventure with Marcus than he did before.
Would you say that Marcus has a positive influence on the people he meets?
“Positive” is a stretch, but he bends over backwards for people and that’s a rare thing. The guy has a very strong sense of loyalty. He burned my place to the ground, then stuck with me till I could find a new home. Jones wasn’t even lucid when Marcus first met him, but Marcus wore himself out trying to help the guy. And not just because Jones was a source of information. It was like Marcus honestly believed Jones could fix himself. And you know what? That faith may be what helped the Oracle turn his life around. Or, at least, lessen his catastrophic decline a little.
What about Quinn and Simeon?
Marcus feels guilty for what happened. Nearly killed himself trying to make things right. It helps that he has the hots for the lady. Not that I blame him.
Yeah, she’s pretty.
Screw pretty, the woman is a warrior. You should see how she handles herself in combat. There are very few humans I would want by my side in tha fight, but she’s at the top of the list. Marcus is a close second.
Sounds like not all humans suck.
*pauses* Okay, I’ll give you that. A small percentage of you all aren’t useless bags of fat.
Guess there’s hope for the human-paranormal relationship after all.
You know, maybe there is.
Let’s hope so. Thanks again, Steve, for joining us today and thanks to everyone who read along. Tune in tomorrow when we wrap up our character interviews with the guy that everyone has been talking about, Marcus Shifter!
And remember, folks, Undead Chaos can be pre-orded from the online retailers below or your favorite e-book distributor. Order now and it’ll show up on your e-reader on October 28th. Just like magic!
Okay, so dish. You ever met a Greek god?
Hermes, but only once.
Holy cow, really? What was he like?
Nice. Busy, though. You couldn’t pay me to be the Messenger God.
Cool. What about virgins. You actually eat them?
Nope.
You a vegetarian or something?
No. It’s just too hard to find one.
*Maggie* taps on glass and waves*
Welp, gotta go.
I thought you were kidding about her.
You thought wrong. She was pretty interested in hearing about the Labyrinth.
Wait a sec, I thought you said you didn’t know anything about–
Later, dude.