Category: writing

Continuing the tradition, here is this week’s sampling of the awesome splattered across the Twittersphere:

Tweets of the Week*:

@alan_tudyk: my mutual love of jogging and baked goods has me fluctuweighting

@alan_tudyk: Young women in LA do terrible things to themselves in the name of beauty. Recently, it’s gone too far. Please, take the 80’s Mom jeans off.

@zachbraff: “The McRib”: for people who have no interest in meeting their grandkids.

@kpereira: Fear of failure makes you boring. #notetoself

@Dolly_Parton: The question I get asked the most is ‘are they real?’ …Well, of course not. They’re acrylic. I could never grow my nails this long!!

@hijinksensue: Kiddo singing Beauty And The Bear: “Trailer old as time…”

@Papa_Kosh: RT @OptimusSubprime: My current fitness level can be summed up with these three words: “JABBA NO BOTHER”.

@WritersDigest: “Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.” – Arthur Schopenhauer

@Janet_Reid: AIEEEEE! Just spelled an editor’s name wrong in the salutation! ARGH! Yes, query letter writers, this happens. Prepare for end of the world.

*Note: Give or take some human error, all tweets are mostly as they appear in my feed to include RT credits, trends, misspells, poor punctuation, lies, misrepresentations, caution: slippery when wet, danger: high voltage, warning: curves ahead, and batteries not included.

Considering the ample amount of awesome scattered across the Twittersphere, I decided to start keeping track of tweets that are simply too fantastic to merely be tagged as “favorite” or just retweeted. But rather than force people to hunt through billions of stellar tweets like, “I go to groceries, LOL”, I’ve taken it upon myself to compile some of the epicness for your viewing pleasure in a semi-regularish installment called Tweets of the Week*. And now, without further ado, I present to you all the inaugural posting of:

CM’s TWEETS OF THE WEEK:**

@sirra_girl: Night all ~ Someday, the words you’ve slaved over for months will touch some reader’s heart for years.Write on, writers~

@alyankovic: I don’t need washboard abs. I’ve got front-loading Energy Star-compliant abs.

@NickHGarrison: You dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Which is why I’m dressed as a fireman. A sexy-space-cowboy-fireman-president.

@RDavidMacNeil: Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.

@SethMacFarlane: All the autotune in the world still doesn’t sound as cool as talking into a desk fan.

@JSCarroll: new phrase of the day: Hanker Sore – adj. finding a person so attractive it actually kinda pisses you off.

@sirra_girl: SOME editors/agents/reviewers mock and then laugh at newbie writers. They’re unprofessional douches on power trips. Don’t give up, writers. Write!

@hprw: FAB! RT @farynblack: @tmminchin Some helium floats into a bar. Bartender says, “We don’t serve noble gases here.” The helium doesn’t react.

@HarryPotterish: “When I’m 80 years old, I’ll be reading Harry Potter. My family will say, ‘After all this time?’ and I will say ‘Always.'” – Alan Rickman

@Rowan_Atkinson: Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics iz like asking a lamppost what it feels about dogs.

@Papa_Kosh: A man’s place is in the kitchen, standing in front of the microwave, wondering if he has to stop it half way through and flip the nuggets.

@grantimahara: #ladygagamath RT @jolieodell: From a @Mashable editor: (RAH)²(AH)³ + [ROMA (1+MA)] + (GA)² + (OOH)(LA)²

@alyankovic: Next time Netflix wants to make a rash, impulsive decision, maybe they should just buy a puppy or get a tattoo. #RIPQwikster

@DeathStarPR: We’re pleased to confirm that today’s #OccupyAlderaan protests ended swiftly and peacefully. Sorry, “fully in pieces.”

@GeorgeTakei: I’ve said it before: You either need a calendar on your “smart” phone, or an organized spouse. Either way, keep ’em nearby–and turned on.

So, there you have it. More to follow in the coming weeks.

*Note: all tweets are exactly as they are in my feed to include RT credits, trends, misspells, poor punctuation, lies, misrepresentations, alien abductions, removing the tag from the mattress, void where prohibited, and may have been made with nuts.

**insert the sound of tens of applauding/screaming fans here.