Categories
Undead Chaos writing

Countdown Interview – Day 3: Simeon

With only 72 hours left before Undead Chaos hits the digital bookshelves, it’s time to get into the heart of these character interviews. That’s why we have on the blog today none other than the greatest Necromancer of our time, Simeon Fawkes!

Hello, Mr. Fawkes, and welcome to the blog.

Good morning.

Can I call you ‘Simeon’?

No.

Oh. *moment of silence* That trips things up a little.  

I was told this interview was about Necromancy, not about my preference for social engagement.

Uh, it is. I’m just trying to break the ice. You know, ligthen the mood.

Unnecessary. Can we please get on with this?

Wow, you’re a pretty intense dude.

I simply don’t apprecaite my time being wasted.

Oookay. Then lets talk zombies.

Reanimated.

Oh, that’s right. Your daughter mentioned that term.

Quinn was here?

Yes. Why?

It’s just…been a while. I would have liked to have seen her.

Care to talk about that?

No.

Figured. So, back to the zom–Reanimated. What can you tell us about them?

That they are grossly misunderstood. Raising the dead takes years of training and education. Not to mention, the power required to return a body to life is staggering. That said, once a person has died, nothing can stop the decay. The window to reanimate someone is hours. Days at the most if the body is put in ice. After that, there’s little point as the corpse is nothing more than a rotting husk.

So you’re saying that bodies won’t rise from the grave like in the movies?

I’m saying they physically cannot. It’s also the reason why they are always portrayed as moaning, shambling creatures. The deterioration eats away at the muscle fibers quickly.

 That…really gross.

Necromancy is not for the faint of heart.

Yeah, I’ll stick to writing, thank you.

Smart man.

Mind if I ask you a personal question?

Yes.

Crap. Okay, what are you willing to talk about? Your daughter?

No.

Marcus?

No.

Your daughter and Marcus as an item?

*glares*

How about the Delwinn Council.

Idiots 

Bingo. What’s your beef with them?

They’re nothing more than midless drones.

Says the Necromancer.

What was that?

Uh, I was saying that apparently Marcus shares your sentiments.

He told you that?

His mother, actually.

Ah. Yes, we both have our reasons to dislike and distrust that bureaucratic entity.

Care to elaborate on that?

Not really, no.

How about your hands? Will you talk about those?

*glances at bandages*

A souvenier from Banks.

Oh?

*raises eyebrows*

I suppose that’s the end of that converstation, eh?

You’re very astute.

Listen, throw me a bone here. It’s been a difficult week of interviews already and I have Steve the Minotaur and Marcus lined up. Just…gimme something I can work with .

*a moment of silence* Fine. Marcus Shifter is a good person.

Go on.

He means well and I don’t begrudge him one iota because of what happened. He put his neck on the line for me and Quinn and did more for us than anyone on the Council, save for his father. He’s not the best Combat Warlock, what with his atrophied Skill and all, but what he lacks in power he more than makes up for with determiniation, tenacity, and cleverness. I’ll gladly take him over a dozen Coincil-trained Warlocks anyday.

Wow. Thank you.

You’re welcome.

You know, I think this is a great way to end the interview. Thank you again, Mr. Fawkes, for coming on the blog.

And remember, folks, Undead Chaos can be pre-orded from the online retailers below or your favorite e-book distributor. Order now and it’ll show up on your e-reader on October 28th. Just like magic!

 

 

Okay, come clean. You’ve played around with the dead like Weekend at Bernies, haven’t you?

No.

Really, not even just a little?

Not once. I don’t even know what movie you’re talking about. 

I never said it was a movie.

….

Bollocks.

I KNEW it!

Categories
Undead Chaos writing

Countdown Interview – Day 4: Jones

Four days. That’s all that remains before Undead Chaos is released from its cage and allowed to roam free through the digital bookshelves. To help promote this terrifying glorious occasion, I’m continuing to interview cast members from the book. Therefore, please help me welcome the King of Clairvoyance, the Prince of Perception, the Orator of Oracles: Forlorn Jones!

Good morning, Mr. Jones. Or do you prefer Forlorn?

*silence*

Maybe ‘The Oracle’?

*more silence*

You know what? Let’s just go with ‘Jones’. That work for you?

*burps*

Sweet mercy, you smell like a distillery. Are you drunk?

*half grin*

Unreal. Hang on folks. (Maggie! I need a pot of coffee in here, ASAP! The strongest brew you can find!) Okay, we’re going to take a quick break.

*20 minutes of Bossa Nova hits*

Aaaaaand we’re back. Once again, my guest today is none other than the great Oracle himself, Forlorn Jones! Thanks for joining us today.

 Hey.

That coffee helping?

*glances at steaming mug* It could use some whiskey.

Yeah, that’s not gonna happen. Can we talk about your character instead?

I guess.

Hot diggity. Rumor has it you can see the future. That you know things before they happen. How much of that is true and how much is just urban legend?

Oh, I’ve seen things.

Like the winning Powerball numbers?

No.

Then what kind of things?

Terrible things.

*stares into space*

Well, that’s dark and ambiguous.

*blinks*

And how do these visions come to you? In a dream or do they just randomly knock on the front door of your brain?

They come to me at all hours. Booze helps to silence the noise. By the way, you should answer that.

That certainly explains the–Wait, answer what?

*phone rings*

*silences phone and glances at a frowning Maggie with her phone to her ear* Well, that’s creepy.

Your producer isn’t happy with this interview. 

Golly, I can’t understand why.  

It’s because–

Let’s move on. Tell me about your home. You live in the Underground, yes?  

Yes.

Seriously, this is like pulling teeth.

What is?

Never mind. So, can you give our readers a snapshot of the Underground?

Sure. It’s the region between the mortal and paranormal worlds that’s basically off the radar of human senses. Paranormal creatures have used it for centuries as a safe-haven during times of persecution. Ever since the Reformation, however, it’s transitioned from a nasty, dirty series of hidden back-alleys full of ruffians to a nast, dirty series of hidden back-alleys full of capitalistic ruffians. Paranormals, and a handful of humans, have turned it into a hive of commerce. There’s a surprising amount of tourism, but the locals keep to themselves. That’s the best thing about the Underground: the anonymity. There’s an unwritten rule that no one asks questions.

That was…surprisingly succinct.

I guess the coffee is finally working.

You mentioned that humans live there. How is that possible if the Underground is, as you put it, “off the radar of human senses”?

Normals can’t find the entrances, but the Skilled can. That said, most respectable Skilled avoid it. The humans who live there are the Fallen.

Who?

Skilled folks that failed out of Council training, are criminals on the lam, or are simply people who couldn’t adjust to the post-Reformation society. You see less Fallen fleeing to the Underground these days, but there will always be a steady stream of Mages, Warlocks, Wizards, Healers, etc.

So how’d you wind up in the Underground?

A lot of creatures, human or otherwise, would love to use my powers for their own means. The Underground is an ideal hiding place.

Yet you agreed to come on this blog.

Marcus said it was safe, seeing as you’re the author of the book and all.

He did, did he?

Yes.

I’ll have to remember to thank him.

They’re gender-based.

What?

Oh, sorry. You hadn’t asked the question yet.

Which–

About the different classifications for the Skilled. They’re based on gender. But you’re going ask that of Marcus, so I’ll let him give you the details.

I’m really confused at the moment.

Most people are when they talk with me. Sometimes it’s hard to stay in the present.

Must be harder to make friends.

It used to be, but between Marcus, Steve, and Quinn, I have way more than ever before. Then there’s Elyannna.

*wistful smile*

Who?

Long story. Your producer wants you to wrap things up.

*glances at Maggie who nods violently* Uh, thank you, Forlorn Jones, for joining us today and for bumping our Weirdness Factor  up a few notches.

It’s what I do.

Well, you succeeded. And for the tens of you readers out there, tune in tomorrow when I interview famed Necromancer and Quinn’s father, Simeon Fawkes! 

And remember, folks, Undead Chaos can be pre-orded from the online retailers below or your favorite e-book distributor. Order now and it’ll show up on your e-reader on October 28th. Just like magic!

 

 

Okay, so seriously, what are the Powerball numbers?

I don’t know.

Come on. You can see the future and stuff.

That’s not how it works.

Listen, I’m not exactly rolling around naked on hundred dollar bills here. Just help me out a little and I’ll cut you in on a percentage of the winnings.

Fine.

Really?

No.

Crud.

You know, you could write more books.

Well now I’ll HAVE to, thank you very much.

You’re welcome.

That’s not…never mind. Maggie! Is his ride here yet?  

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