Joshua Roots

Chaos Quotes: Day 1

Now that the dust has settled from Release Week, I thought a great way to help spread the word about Undead Chaos would be to share some of my favorite quotes/scenes from the book. Therefore, to kick things off, I offer you all:

CM’s Favorite Chaos Quotes: Day 1:

The door to the house slammed open. A woman who I assumed was Carly stamped out with a martini glass in one hand, bottle of clear liquid in the other. She wore a short, silky blue nightgown that didn’t leave much to the imagination. Her dyed black hair was teased into a high poof and her makeup was caked on in a vain attempt to fill the lines and crow’s feet. She must have been pretty in her youth, but a life of booze, food, and cigarettes had left a rounder, unhappier version in its wake.

“Tony, you fat, cheating bastard!” she slurred, waving the martini glass in our direction. “You listen to that man! I hired him, so do as he says!”

Banks turned and moaned softly at his wife, leaving me with an unpleasant visual of his backside.

“Please go back inside, Mrs. Banks,” I called, trying to ignore the massive mounds of rotting meat before me. “Your husband and I are getting along famously at the moment. Isn’t that right, Tony?”

Banks whimpered and took several slow steps forward.

“You sonnabish!” Carly screeched, her eyes widening. “You don’t get to have me anymore. You’re dead, and I’ll do whatever or whoever I want. Maybe even him!” she added, slopping what was left of her drink toward me.

Banks stopped.

“That’s right.” Carly said, “I may just add a little something extra to his paycheck for getting rid of you. I’ve been dying to break in the leather of my new Bentley.”

Banks roared and spun around. His face contorted with rage as he bellowed at me, and his hot, rancid breath turned my stomach. He snarled, then worked the pump on the shotgun.

Oh hell.

The blast shattered the relative calm of the neighborhood, and the recoil threw Banks onto his back. Thankfully his aim sucked. I’m not sure he could have hit his house from ten feet away.

“Dammit, Banks,” I shouted, ears ringing with pain. “It doesn’t have to be like this!”

My words were useless. Whatever negotiating power I’d had before was gone. Banks was all rage—nothing short of another death would slow him down.

Undead Chaos is available from all your favorite e-book distributors.

3…2…1…Thank You!

In the blink of an eye, Undead Chaos was unleashed upon the world. It’s been a long, unbelievable process, but thanks to an army of supporters, it’s finally seeing the light of day. Considering I blew up the Blogosphere/Chirpersphere this past week with the mock interviews of the cast, I’ll simply put a sample of the story and blurb at the bottom of this post.

Most important, however, allow me to say this:

To everyone who encouraged me along the way: Thank you from the bottom of my heart. This would never have happened without you.

To those who buy and read it: This is for you. Thank you as well and I hope you like it.

It’s been an amazing ride so far, gang. Here’s to the beginning of a new chapter.

-Josh

Cover, Buy Options, Sample, and Blurb:

Sample:

In all my years of squashing paranormal creepy crawlies, I’d learned two very important lessons. First, always keep a round chambered in your gun. Trust me, when you really need it, you don’t have time to load it. Second, never ignore your business phone. Mortgages are expensive and freelancer jobs hard to come by, so whenever that line rings, you answer it.

“I’m looking for Marcus Shifter,” the lady on the other end said in a hushed, hurried voice.

I paused Stripes and sat up. “You got him.”

“My name is Carly Banks, and my husband died a month ago.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. Another Normal hoping to resurrect a loved one.

“I’m sorry for your loss, Mrs. Banks, but I’m a Warlock, not a Necromancer. I can’t raise the dead.”

“You don’t have to,” she said, quickly. “He’s on my front lawn with a shotgun.”

I arrived at her neighborhood twenty minutes later.

Blurb:

The job was simple: decapitate the zombie, get paid, get out. Warlock Marcus Shifter followed the plan perfectly.

The corpse, however, did not.

Now there’s a body on the loose, accusations of illegal necromancy are flying, and the answers are waiting in the perilous alleys between the mortal and paranormal worlds. They’re no place for someone who gave up magic after a childhood accident. And given his tendency to shoot off his mouth and his Glock, Marcus is having a hell of a time digging up more than just bodies.

But when an apocalypse-minded megalomaniac threatens Marcus’s family, things get personal. Marcus will have to embrace the magic he’s been avoiding for years—and even that might not be enough to save the world from a hellish demise.

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