Categories
Undead Chaos writing

Chaos Quotes: Day 5 – My Most Favorite

To wrap up this week of my favorite moments from Undead Chaos, it only makes sense to end with my mostest favoritest. This is one of those lines that I busted up over when I wrote it and still snicker at to this day. Without further ado, allow me to present unto you:

CM’s Favorite Chaos Quotes: Day 5 – My Most Favorite

For a dead man, Banks moved like a cheetah. A fat, naked cheetah.

Yup, that’s it. Two sentences, yet I love them to my core.

Anyway, thanks for joining me this week as I counted down some of my favorite lines. Thanks also to everyone who has helped spread the word about the book. You all are the best.  

-J

Categories
Uncategorized

Chaos Quotes: Day 4 – Steve and Marcus

Listen, I’m not gonna lie, Steve is tied with Marcus as my favorite character. Partially because he’s almost 8 feet of bad-ass, but mostly because I love his attitude. A little background, he was originally supposed to just be in the bar-fight scene and then fade out, but I kept finding more and more lines/scenes for him. In the scene below, we see one of the many, many reasons why Steve not only stuck around for this book, but also appears a LOT in Book 2.

CM’s Favorite Chaos Quotes: Day 4 – Steve and Marcus

“Oh, there’s been a misunderstanding,” the male growled. “You, Human, do not understand the level of offenses you have committed against our kind.”

“Listen, obviously this is all a mistake, so allow me to apologize again and offer to pay for your breakfast. As well as buy a new tunic for the lady.”

Mr. Elf blanched. “You think you can bribe you way clear of your misconduct?” he thundered. “Your dishonor deserves retribution!”

There was a blur of motion and suddenly a knife was quivering inches from my face. My bowels weakened a little as I stared cross-eyed at the tip. Then I noticed the catcher’s mitt–sized hand that was clamped on the Elf’s wrist.

“Now that,” Steve said, “was about the dumbest thing you could have done.”

He was still seated with his coffee in one hand, the Elf in the other. The Elves turned to see who the intruder was and their perfect eyebrows lifted as Steve stood to his full height.

“The way I saw it,” the Minotaur continued, “these two simply ran into one another. My friend here was trying to be a gentleman and help the lady out. Your woman, on the other hand, has been nothing but an overreacting, pompous bitch. Since you seem not only incapable of recognizing a very kind gesture, but also completely prejudiced against his species, I recommend you leave at once. Oh,” he added, “and I’m keeping your knife.”

“Never,” the Elf said defiantly. “It was given to me at birth and has been a part of me ever since.”

“The same can be said about your hand,” Steve replied, “You can lose one or both. Your choice.”

The Elf dropped the knife instantly. Steve looked down as it clattered noisily to the floor.

“Scabbard too,” he said. The Elf used his free hand to unhook the scabbard and drop it next to the knife.

“Good,” the Minotaur said with a nod. “Now, go learn some manners, you pointy-eared ass.”

Undead Chaos is available from all your favorite e-book distributors.

%d